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Battered Men - The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence

Help for Battered Men

Washington State Resources

Note: If you have been the victim of domestic violence, please e-mail me and tell me about it. What happened? Did you tell anyone about it? Why or why not? Did you seek help? Why or why not? If you did seek help, did you get it? May we publish your story here? We'll do it anonymously, unless you give specific permission to use your name and/or e-mail address.

Know a man who may be battered? Print out this page and give it to him. Often, it'll be enough to get him to talk to you about it -- if not right away, perhaps in a bit. And talking to another man about it is the first step in healing -- in survival.
Remember: TV star and comedian Phil Hartman never talked about his marital problems, either, except to joke about having to leave the house when his wife was mad. He told everyone the marriage was wonderful -- as so many men do.

Find out more about battered men

 

Whenever I speak of male abuse, I am met by disbelief and, even worse, laughter. We are looked upon as being friends of the perpetrators rather than friends of the victims, because all males are supposed to be evil and bad. I notice in talking with other shelter staff throughout the state that this attitude prevails in the other shelters, too-men are the perpetrators, women are the victims.
   -- Jan Dimmitt, Executive Director of Kelso's Emergency Support Shelter

Kelso / Longview
Emergency Support Shelter
P.O. Box 877
Kelso WA 98626
CRISIS LINE: (360) 636-8471
Business line: (360) 425-1176

The program makes contact with all victims of domestic violence and when they can they have a male make the initial contact with the men. The Director reports than having a man be an advocacy-based counselor for them was a giant stride forward. The program helps them fill out protection orders and go to court with them as friend and supporter, just as they do for female victims. Men needing immediate shelter are referred to a local shelter that is for all homeless people, but that lacks the services available for female victims in that there is no support group, and no individual counseling. The program provides them with individual counseling in the program office. The program reports that the local hospital, St. John's, trains emergency room staff and other medical staff on the specific needs of male victims, as part of their Domestic Violence Task Force efforts, and that the domestic violence unit of the Longivew Police Department is very sensitive to the needs of battered men. (Kelso and the Valley Oasis Shelter program in Lancaster CA and "a few other places" are the only programs Mr. Cook found in the U.S. that serve men.)

Everett
Snohomish County Center for Battered Women
P.O. Box 7
Everett WA 98206-0007
CRISIS LINE: (425) 252-2873
Business line: (425) 259-2827

Both the Snohomish County Center for Abused Women and the Bellevue-based Eastside Domestic Violence Program stated they served men as well as women. Both have outreach programs coordinated with local police, prosecutors or courts, that meet with the victim shortly after a domestic violence arrest. The Snohomish program has male victim advocates (although at this writing they do not have male legal advocates), I was told. Shelter is provided, as needed, through private individual arrangements.

Bellevue / east King County
Eastside Domestic Violence Program
P.O. Box 6398
Bellevue WA 98003
CRISIS LINE: (425) 746-1940
        1-800-827-8840 Business line: (425) 562-8840

Both the Snohomish County Center for Abused Women and the Bellevue-based Eastside Domestic Violence Program stated they served men as well as women. Both have outreach programs coordinated with local police, prosecutors or courts, that meet with the victim shortly after a domestic violence arrest.

Seattle
Men Working Against Abuse
CRISIS LINE: (206) 461-7824
Business line: (206) 461-7824

Battered men who call Seattle's state- and county-funded New Beginnings program are referred to Men Working Against Abuse. MWAA is not on the DSHS list of state-funded programs, or even state-recognized, list of Washington state domestic violence resources.

Men calling the program outside of office hours are told that the staff is either out of the office or on the phone. According to this phone message, their first service is voluntary "support groups for abusive men on how to become abuse-free and overcome the consequences of their past abuse for themselves and their loved ones." Second, they offer "educational programs for individuals and couples on topics such as non-violent child discipline techniques and how to heal families and relationships that have suffered from abusive relationships. Third, they offer "services for men who are victims of abuse, to help them understand the situation and get free of this abuse." They also offer public educational services. Female victims are urged to call the domestic abuse hotline. Men may leave a message. It is not clear what services are offered to battered men, or what they are to do in case of an emergency, such as a wife who is beating up on him and the kids.

Walla Walla
YWCA of Walla Walla County
213 S. 1st
Walla Walla WA 99362
CRISIS LINE: (509) 529-9922
Business line: (509) 525-2570

The Walla Walla YWCA program is listed in the Washington Coalition of Sex Abuse Programs, where it says "general characteristics of clients served: women." Nonetheless, they have certified a male victim advocate for battered men, who volunteers his time to help men inside and outside of the state. If you need help and it's an emergency, phone 911. And take notes. If it is a non-emergency, e-mail me and I will forward the e-mail to him.

For an overview of services and funding for Washington domestic violence programs, see the Center for Disease Prevention and Control (CDC) Inventory of Services and Funding Sources for Programs Designed to Prevent Violence Against Women: Washington. The introduction to the inventory states: "The Centers for Disease Prevention and Control (CDC) has identified intimate partner violence and sexual assaults against women as a significant and costly health issue. ... And intimate partner abuse is not limited to a woman but may involve her children as well." "The CDC is committed to help achieve the Healthy People 2000 objectives of reducing incidents of violence against women." The CDC inventory makes no mention of domestic violence against men, even though the CDC-sponsored National Violence Against Women survey found that each year 1.5 million women and 835,000 men are victims of domestic violence.

Check out the Washington and national resources that help battered men.

Washington resources

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Resourses elswehere in the U.S., Canada and around the world

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On-line resources

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Click here for books on battered men.

Click here for books

Click here to return to MenWeb's Battered Men page

Click here for Battered Men

Click here to go to MenWeb's Dating Violence Men page

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S.A.F.E. logo

S.A.F.E. (http://www.safe4all.org) concentrates on domestic violence against straight men, gay men, and lesbian women, because few services exist for these groups. Personal stories, a comprehensive listing of Web resources and books, info on local shelters and groups that help battered men or offer services for abusive women, suggestions on how you can make a difference in the lives of people affected by abuse. E-mail list and Bulletin Board.

Links to other info on the Web
Including media coverage of the topic
ABC News Special ReportMetro: Silicon Valley WeeklyNovaNewsNetUK Channel 4 logoMother Jones November/December 1994 cover

 
     

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