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Battered Men - The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence

Help for Battered Men

National and International Resources

Note: If you have been the victim of domestic violence, please e-mail me and tell me about it. What happened? Did you tell anyone about it? Why or why not? Did you seek help? Why or why not? If you did seek help, did you get it? May we publish your story here? We'll do it anonymously, unless you give specific permission to use your name and/or e-mail address.

Know a man who may be battered? Print out this page and give it to him. Often, it'll be enough to get him to talk to you about it -- if not right away, perhaps in a bit. And talking to another man about it is the first step in healing -- in survival.
Remember: TV star and comedian Phil Hartman never talked about his marital problems, either, except to joke about having to leave the house when his wife was mad. He told everyone the marriage was wonderful -- as so many men do.

Find out more about battered men

 

Alternatives to Anger

Jerry Medol's highly-successful gender-neutral and male-positive Kansas City project, Alternatives for Anger. "Our mission is to support and train men and women to stop reactionary and violent behavior; to use anger for empowerment and enrichment of life and for finding healing and joy; and, to be an advocate for people who are conscientiously taking responsibility for their feelings, behavior and needs."


Here are the centers listed on the S.A.F.E. Web site and on Holzman's Men and Domestic Violence page as serving men. I make no guarantee as to the accuracy of the listings.

S.A.F.E. - Stop Abuse For Everyone

  • California, Lancaster - Valley Oasis Family Violence Shelter

    This is one of the extremely few shelters in the entire US which offer help to victims without discriminating based on gender. Their 24-hour crisis line number: (805)945-6736.

  • California, Sacramento

    Claudia Dias, director of "Changing Courses" in North Highlands, a suburb of Sacramento California, has anger management groups for both men and women, and works with women who are abusive to their partners. Their phone number is (916) 332-5056.

  • California, San Diego County

    The Domestic Violence Hotline 1-888-305-SAFE (7233) is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and provides referrals to a variety of services such as: Domestic Violence shelter bed availability, Counseling services, Support Group services, Emergency Food and Clothing, Legal services, Anti-Stalking information, and other available community resources. I called and talked with an employee there, and they provide services for everyone -- men, women, straight or gay. They also told me that there is a shelter for gay men and lesbian women there (call 619-692-2077) and the YWCA has counseling services for men that are abused (call 619-270-4504). Let me know what kind of experiences you have with these services, please.

  • Florida

    The Florida Men's Resource Center has a list of resources for men in Florida. Women and children are "welcome also", according to the web page. The Florida Men's Resource is a SAFE Affiliate.

    Here are some resources if you're in Florida. These resources said that they help battered men:

      SHELTERS (407 area code)
    1. Coalition for the Homeless: 426-1250
    2. Crossroads Mission: 843-5269
    3. Central Care Mission: 299-6146
    4. Anthony House: 383-5577
    5. Salvation Army 423-8581
    6. Fresh Start Project 422-9781
      COUNSELING (407 area code)

    1. Cornerstone Institute: Bruce Stoakley 830-8808
    2. Spouse Abuse Outreach Ctr. 895-6099
    3. Christian Service Center 425-2523

  • Georgia, Atlanta

    The Ogeechee Judicial Circuit Domestic Violence Shelter offers services to both men and women. Men do not stay at our shelter; however, they are able to provide shelter in a safe place for them at another location in the community. They have advocated for several male victims of domestic violence in the past three years of our existence (as of 1998). (912) 764-4605 crisis line

    The Partnership Against Domestic Violence
    1475 Peachtree St.
    Suite 400
    Atlanta, GA  30309
    404/870-9600
    ADDITIONAL PHONE NUMBERS: crisis line: 404/873-1766 (see locations for local office numbers)
    HOURS/DAYS: 9:00 am to 5:30 pm MON - FRI; 24 hour crisis line
    SERVICE DESCRIPTION:

    • shelter and services for abused women and their children
    • referral services for battered men, batterers' program, program for women charged with assault
    • 24 hour crisis line
    • temporary protective orders
    • support groups, counseling - men, women, children
    • parenting education
    • parent/child activities
    • child/spouse abuse prevention/education
    • relocation assistance for current clients only

  • Mass., Boston

    There is a group trying to set up services for heterosexual abused men. See http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/batteredhusbandssupport.

  • Maine

    The Battered Men's Helpline reports that Battered Men's support groups are starting up in Southern and Central Maine. Call their toll free number 1-877-643-1120 Access Code # 0757 for meeting times and locations. If you who are interested in helping and/or offering financial support, please call 207-683-2515. re is a group trying to set up services for heterosexual abused men. P.O. Box 252, Harmony, Maine 04942. E-mail help@noexcuse4abuse.org.

  • Michigan S.A.F.E. Hotline

    The SAFE group in Michigan has set up a national hotline for battered men and lesbian women to call: (616)941-0825. Requests for help can be written to abuseaid@aol.com.

  • Tennessee, Nashville

    Cumberland Heights is an alcohol and drug treatment center with a court services component. The court services program offers many different classes for court-ordered clients, and one of them is domestic violence classes. The classes are for men and women who have been arrested for domestic violence charges AND who have substance abuse issues. Substance abuse issues ranges from addiction to using during the incident that got them arrested. Not all have serious problems with alcohol or drugs. They do not offer victims services; all of those are referred to local shelters. The program is a 6 month program and the clients meet one time weekly. If someone needs information on any of these services, the number is 1-800-707-8882.

    Cumberland Heights also seems to have a program for women perpetrators of violence. Contact the program coordinator, karen Bybee, at (615)353-4398.

  • Texas, Arlington

    The Women's Shelter (hotline number 817-460-5566) will help battered men. To make a counseling appointment, call (817)548-0583. I have heard of at least one man receiving services here.

  • Texas, Ft. Worth

    The Women's Haven, hotline number: (817)535-6464. They will help battered men.

  • Texas, Dallas

    The Family Place, (212)941-1991, will offer help to battered men.

  • Washington, Snohomish

    Apparently, the Center for Battered Women in Snohomish County has a twenty four hour crisis line for victims of domestic violence. Advocates are trained to talk to callers of all genders and sexual preferences providing safety planning, advocacy based counseling and community resource referral. The phone number is (425)252-2873. (7/6/98)

  • Washington State

    The Washington State Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached toll-free at 800-562-6025. Their URL is http://www.domestic-violence.org, and the email is csn@willapabay.org. Their website is almost completely in gender-neutral language, and their mandate is inclusive of all abuse victims (and possibly perpetrators as well). [MenWeb editor's note: My own opinion is that the Hotline uses gender-neutral language to describe, exclusively, a woman's experience. See The Gender-Neutral Joke. When I called, they named only one center that served men, in Seattle, and suggested that men call the National DV Hotline. Their page "What is Domestic Violence" focuses on the gender-polarizing"Duluth Model," defining domestic violence in terms of men asserting male privilege over men.]

  • Australia

    If you live in Australia, see the list of Australian hotlines and information for men that are abused. Also see here for more Australian hotlines.

  • Canada, Calgary

    Apparently, the university there is providing a hotline for abused men, but I haven't found out the phone number for it yet. I'll let you know as soon as I do.

  • Canada, Toronto

    The Easton Alliance for the Prevention of Family Violence is the first Canadian family violence prevention agency and charity for abused men. It is also perhaps the first organization of its kind in the world. You can contact them by phone: (416)691-8269, fax: (416)691-1113, mail: 97 Main Street, Toronto ON Canada M4E 2V6, and e-mail: easton@geocities.com. They offer a support group, referrals, and more.

  • Canada, Victoria BC

    The Victoria Men's Centre, has information and a discussion circle for men, and makes referrals to counselling and other services. There's also another group starting, called the "Well Society", which is setting up a retreat center for men, due to be open in a couple of months. Their phone recording line is at (250) 370-4636, and address is Box 8082, Victoria, B.C. V8W 3R7.

  • Ireland

    AMEN, in Dublin, opened in December 1997 and heard from over 3,000 men and their families in the first year. They offer a confidential advice line for Men in violent relationships. Read Amen's article "The Male Victim" on MenWeb.

  • United Kingdom

    Men's Advice Line & Enquiries (M.A.L.E.)
    0181 644-9914
    Monday & Wednesday 9AM to Midnight
    (answer machine all other times)
    Write to: Les Davidson
    PO Box 402, Sutton, Surrey, SM1 3TG
    "Information for and about Male Victims of Domestic Violence"


The Resource Center in Aberdeen, SD recently changed its name, but hasn't yet updated its web page. Don't let the old name, Resource Center for Women discourage you! I've spoken with them and they provide counseling for men, may start a men's support group soon, and provide ad hoc sheltering for battered men who've had to leave their homes. (Holzman)

El Paso Battered Women's Center
Men Who Batter, Men Who Are Battered
From their Web site: Men who abuse their spouses and children may receive benefits from a unique program which works to break the cycle of violence and sustain the family structure. This program is accessible at 562-0077. For men who are victims of domestic violence, help may be accessed at the same telephone number. Men who share this problem may confide discreetly and receive assistance. (Hoff)

Check out the Washington and national resources that help battered men.

Washington resources

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On-line resources

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Click here for books on battered men.

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Click here to return to MenWeb's Battered Men page

Click here for Battered Men

Click here to go to MenWeb's Dating Violence Men page

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S.A.F.E. logo

S.A.F.E. (http://www.safe4all.org) concentrates on domestic violence against straight men, gay men, and lesbian women, because few services exist for these groups. Personal stories, a comprehensive listing of Web resources and books, info on local shelters and groups that help battered men or offer services for abusive women, suggestions on how you can make a difference in the lives of people affected by abuse. E-mail list and Bulletin Board.

Links to other info on the Web
Including media coverage of the topic
ABC News Special ReportMetro: Silicon Valley WeeklyNovaNewsNetUK Channel 4 logoMother Jones November/December 1994 cover

 
     

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